恼人的indecision有药可治

加拿大都市网

SOURCE都市报

Decision翻译为“决定”。

Have you made a decision yet?(你决定了没有?)

Indecision的释义为a wavering between two or more possible courses of action ,不是不能做决定,是不能爽快地作决定,即优柔寡断、迟疑不决。“议而不决,决而不行。”政府行动缓慢,重大事情上裹足不前,就会被人用这句来批评。2001年,当时的国务院总理朱鎔基就这样督促董建华政府。

Decisive是形容词,意思是having or showing the ability to make decisions quickly and effectively,即果断的,这正是“议而不决,决而不行”的反向,而“议而不决,决而不行”,就是indecisive,not able to make decisions quickly effectively,迟疑不决。

面对问题,indecision后果可以很严重。Indecision即是拖延,拖延通常的结果是令问题加深。面对机遇,迟疑不决,大好机会就会错失。这点大家其实都明白,但为什么会经常indecisive,或起码在某些事情上会indecisive呢?

在不同情况下,indecision有不同原因。最常见、但又不重要的一种决定,就是去什么地方吃晚饭。Kimberly Key在”Uncovering hidden causes of indecision”一文中解释:”In the case of dinner decisions, there are a number of reasons that cause people difficulty in articulating(清楚表达) what they want to eat.”

First, the options(可能的选择) are plentiful. So plentiful that it can flood people and leave them with heightened uncertainty. Too many options leads to indecision. On top of that, people can appear to be indecisive when they are trying to please the other person. When both people are trying to please each other, it can be a perpetual(无休止的) ping pong game with each person repeatedly replying, “I don’t know. What do you want?”

这种其实无关痛痒的决定,减少选项会较容易作决定,别再你估我、我估你,坦白说出心中所想也是个办法。

但在很多重大事情上,造成indecision的原因就不同。

优良纪录 懒作决定

Too many options can flood someone, yet their inability to choose may be directly tied to their fear of making a mistake. This is exponentially(呈几何级数地) increased if they have had a history of being corrected when they were making a choice – or always being told what to do and what to want. Both extremes create self-doubt(缺乏自信、自我怀疑) and the inability to connect to one’s own inner guidance.

Extreme是极端的情况。可能是因为你以往作的决定都是对的,这可以成为包袱,令你害怕今次会错,破坏了优良纪录。另一种情况,是从来都是别人替你作决定,你没有作决定的能力。

若indecision是因为”fear of making a mistake”,那可以试试把作错决定的后果写出来,看看是否真的承受不了,清楚怕的是什么,就可以理性地解决。

Many people who have trouble making decisions tend to over-analyze(过度分析、想得太多). There comes a time when no matter how much information you have, or how much logic you’ve applied, the decision isn’t going to get any easier.

Pros and cons的清单不能无了期做下去,若最后仍拿不定主意,可能就是因为正反理据旗鼓相当,要打破困局,不妨用最后一招:flip a coin(掷硬币)了事!

学点如何作精明决定的招数,长远会有帮助,可参考Richard Thaler和Cass Sunstein的Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness。

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