英语学习:Emotional intelligence等于人缘好?

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要成功,EQ比IQ还重要。 EQ是emotional quotient,又称为emotional intelligence,情绪商数、情绪智能。 IQ是intelligence quotient,智能商数。

谈了十多年,大家对EQ这名词都应很熟悉。聪明但控制情绪的能力差,独自工作表现出色但不懂与人合作,就会成为成功的阻力,有人会说,EQ差的也有“成功人士”,但专家就说,IQ高,工作能力高,EQ也高,“成功人士”的成就可能会更高。

形容一个人EQ高,我们会想到处事不愠不火、处变不惊。但emotional intelligence高不只是脾气好、容易与人相处。

Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence的Marc Brackett教授解释:

It’s our emotional intelligence that gives us the ability to read our instinctive(本能的、天生的) feelings and those of others. It also allows us to understand and label emotions as well as express and regulate them.

简易全方位评估

Emotional intelligence是对自己和别人的情绪一目了然,明白、辨识、表达与调控不同情绪的能力。中心的副总监Robin Stern用易明的方法和实用的角度补充:

Some people think of emotional intelligence as a soft skill or the ability or the tendency(倾向) to be nice. It’s really about understanding what is going on for you in the moment so that you can make conscious(有意识的) choices about how you want to use your emotions and how you want to manage yourself and how you want to be seen in the world.

她强调的也是认识、控制和善用情绪。大家都知道emotional intelligence的重要:

… experts say the ability to read, understand and respond to emotions in ourselves and other people is a crucial(重要的) factor in predicting(推测) our health, happiness and personal and professional success.

但Brackett说︰”people tend to overestimate their emotional intelligence”(人们往往高估自己的情绪智能)。要真正量度一个人的emotional intelligence,要用正式的,以解决实际问题能力为本的方法来测量。

普通人很难有机会参与这类测验,但就可以接受”360 assessment”(360评估)。这种全方位评估毋须入实验室,也不用找科学家:

In the workplace setting, a 360 assessment is a process involving feedback from colleagues and supervisors evaluating a person emotional intelligence.

这种方法简单直接,就是要求同事或上司给你意见。得到这些feedback后,我们会发现别人看我们,与自己看自己是有出入的︰

When a coworker takes the 360​​ assessment of you it provides an opportunity to compare it to your self-assessment(自我评估).

Emotional intelligence的自我评估通常涵盖几个范畴:”your ability to manage yourself, your ability to manage relationships, your self-awareness and your social awareness.”

改善问题增EQ

专家说,emotional intelligence应自幼训练,但成年人亦有方法提升EQ。例如找一、两个最想要改善的问题开始,又或与跟你意见不同的人相处。 Justin Bariso的EQ Applied: The Real-World Guide to Emotional Intelligence,提供提升emotional intelligence的实用建议。

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