英語學習:Emotional intelligence等於人緣好?

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要成功,EQ比IQ還重要。 EQ是emotional quotient,又稱為emotional intelligence,情緒商數、情緒智能。 IQ是intelligence quotient,智能商數。

談了十多年,大家對EQ這名詞都應很熟悉。聰明但控制情緒的能力差,獨自工作表現出色但不懂與人合作,就會成為成功的阻力,有人會說,EQ差的也有「成功人士」,但專家就說,IQ高,工作能力高,EQ也高,「成功人士」的成就可能會更高。

形容一個人EQ高,我們會想到處事不慍不火、處變不驚。但emotional intelligence高不只是脾氣好、容易與人相處。

Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence的Marc Brackett教授解釋:

It’s our emotional intelligence that gives us the ability to read our instinctive(本能的、天生的) feelings and those of others. It also allows us to understand and label emotions as well as express and regulate them.

簡易全方位評估

Emotional intelligence是對自己和別人的情緒一目了然,明白、辨識、表達與調控不同情緒的能力。中心的副總監Robin Stern用易明的方法和實用的角度補充:

Some people think of emotional intelligence as a soft skill or the ability or the tendency(傾向) to be nice. It’s really about understanding what is going on for you in the moment so that you can make conscious(有意識的) choices about how you want to use your emotions and how you want to manage yourself and how you want to be seen in the world.

她強調的也是認識、控制和善用情緒。大家都知道emotional intelligence的重要:

… experts say the ability to read, understand and respond to emotions in ourselves and other people is a crucial(重要的) factor in predicting(推測) our health, happiness and personal and professional success.

但Brackett說︰”people tend to overestimate their emotional intelligence”(人們往往高估自己的情緒智能)。要真正量度一個人的emotional intelligence,要用正式的,以解決實際問題能力為本的方法來測量。

普通人很難有機會參與這類測驗,但就可以接受”360 assessment”(360評估)。這種全方位評估毋須入實驗室,也不用找科學家:

In the workplace setting, a 360 assessment is a process involving feedback from colleagues and supervisors evaluating a person emotional intelligence.

這種方法簡單直接,就是要求同事或上司給你意見。得到這些feedback後,我們會發現別人看我們,與自己看自己是有出入的︰

When a coworker takes the 360​​ assessment of you it provides an opportunity to compare it to your self-assessment(自我評估).

Emotional intelligence的自我評估通常涵蓋幾個範疇:”your ability to manage yourself, your ability to manage relationships, your self-awareness and your social awareness.”

改善問題增EQ

專家說,emotional intelligence應自幼訓練,但成年人亦有方法提升EQ。例如找一、兩個最想要改善的問題開始,又或與跟你意見不同的人相處。 Justin Bariso的EQ Applied: The Real-World Guide to Emotional Intelligence,提供提升emotional intelligence的實用建議。

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