英语趣谈:Revenge和forgiveness面面观

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文︰子慧

Revenge解the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands,伤害曾伤害你的人,就是revenge。简单说,就是“报仇”。除了圣人,相信大家都不时有revenge的念头。被人伤害、侮辱、欺骗、背叛、出卖,很多时第一个反应就是想办法报复。

Revenge的心态是人之常情,University of Miami的evolutionary psychologist(进化心理学家)Michael McCullough过去十多年专门研究revenge和forgiveness(宽恕)。他的观察如下:

Revenge is a powerful emotional trigger that mobilises(策动、推动) people into action. It’s this very pervasive(弥漫的、普遍的) experience in human lives, people from every society understand the idea of​​ getting angry and wanting to hurt someone who has harmed you.

谈爱、坚毅、包容的名句很多,有关revenge的也不少。常听见的有︰“有仇不报非君子”,也有︰To exact revenge for yourself or your friends is not only a right, it’s an absolute duty(为自己或朋友报仇不只是权利,也绝对是义务)。教复仇之道的则有︰Revenge is a dish best served (or eaten) cold,仇毋须即时报,慢慢找仇人算帐就更心凉,所以也有“君子报仇十年未晚”的说法。

普通人说revenge,大多是说说或想想便算。对于别人的过犯,凡事都大费周章真的去实行报仇大计,就什么其他事也不用做了。转个头下了火气,报仇的意欲就会下降。不过现实世界中的政治舞台,世界政局,复仇剧却天天在上演。

最近叙利亚政府用化学武器杀害平民,英、美、法就报仇,用飞弹攻打叙利亚化武设施,美国总统Donald Trump说”exact a ‘big price’ on the Assad regime”就是复仇。对方自然也不会示弱,背后撑腰的俄罗斯就警告西方他们的袭击会有consequence(后果),意思也是复仇。

复仇成瘾

科学家想知道为什么大家会这样乐此不疲地去冤冤相报。研究发现︰”Not only can revenge give people pleasure, but people seek it precisely because of the anticipation it will do so.”(报仇确会令人舒服,想去报仇就正正因为大家都觉得报仇后会好过点。)难怪很多电影、小说,都以复仇作主线。主角被人害得愈惨,到他们报仇雪恨,仇人下场愈惨,观众心中就愈痛快。

但科学家就警告,报仇只会带来一时之快,后果往往得不偿失︰
Preliminary – as yet unpublished results – show that revenge-seekers only get a momentary feeling of pleasure.

Virginia Commonwealth University学者David Chester解释:
Just like a lot of things, it feels good in the moment. That begins a cycle(循环) and it starts to look like an addiction(瘾), then afterwards you feel worse than when you started. And that might help explain why those who seek the high of revenge fail to anticipate disastrous(灾难性的) personal consequences.

很多人为报仇无所不用其极,Get Even: The Complete Book Of Dirty Tricks收集了市民对大企业、政府和敌人的报仇方法,但这只是搞笑之作,不是叫人去学。不想堕入复仇成瘾的cycle?还是看Dennis Maynard的Forgive & Get Your Life Back较理智。

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