不持久的hedonic happiness

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你想开心多一点吗?大家都会说“想”。但想却未必知道方法。问人怎样才会开心一点,常听到的答案包括:a baby、looking younger、losing weight、your child excelling at school、more supportive and loving parents、more flexibility at work、more money、more time等等。

有孩子、青春常驻、窈窕一点、孩子在学校表现好、有更支持和爱锡自己的父母、工作模式较有弹性、多些钱、多些时间。这些都是很多人想要的,但得到了,是否真的快乐?

Sonja Lyubomirsky在The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want中写道,以上都是一些朋友常给她的答案:

If your answers look anything like these, all of which friends have confided(秘密地吐露) to me over the years, you’re in for a surprise.

None of these things will make you substantially(可观地、大程度上) happier. But this doesn’t mean that the goal of finding lasting(持久的) happiness is unrealistic(不切实际的) or nave. The catch is that we tend to look for happiness in the wrong places.

Catch用作动词解捉到、捕捉,例如︰The policeman catches the thief immediately.(那位警察立即就把小偷逮捕。)Catch用作名词解a hidden problem or disadvantage in an apparently ideal situation,暗藏的不利因素。有人告诉你健身中心有免费会籍,你觉得没可能有这样的优惠,就可以问:What’s the catch?(这当中的问题是什么?)

要找出lasting happiness,首先就要知道,像胆固醇有好、坏之分,原来快乐也有优、劣之分。专家把快乐分为两种:hedonic和eudaimonic。 Hedonic解relating to pleasant or unpleasant sensations,与感官有关的快乐︰

Hedonic well-being comes from an experience a person seeks out that gives them pleasure.

有专家形容hedonic happiness为”having lots of positive experiences that come from, say, eating great food or smelling beautiful flowers”,像美食和花香带来的喜悦。

无私最乐

Eudaimonic又作eudaemonic,解conducive to happiness,带来快乐的︰

Eudaimonic well-being is a kind of happiness that comes not from consuming(享用) something but from a sustained effort(持续的努力) at working toward something bigger than you.

In other words, it’s working toward a sense of meaning in your life or contributing to some kind of cause. Think of the happiness you see on the Dalai Lama(达赖喇嘛) or Mother Teresa(德兰修女)’s face.

最近,在Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences中发表的研究报告指出,hedonic happiness竟会造成和压力或情绪低落相类似的生理反应︰

In fact, the happiness you get from instant gratification(即时的满足)- eating that giant cupcake or buying that fabulous(极好的) pair of shoes – may have the same physical impact on your genes as depression or stress.

Eudaimonic well-being就不同。参与研究的其中一位学者Steve Cole说:”But if you find well-being in the connections you have to others and in pursuing something that involves collaborating(合作) with other people, if in that circumstance you get sick or injured or suffer a personal loss, that community you’ve worked so hard to connect to, they will help you get through.”