不持久的hedonic happiness

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你想開心多一點嗎?大家都會說「想」。但想卻未必知道方法。問人怎樣才會開心一點,常聽到的答案包括:a baby、looking younger、losing weight、your child excelling at school、more supportive and loving parents、more flexibility at work、more money、more time等等。

有孩子、青春常駐、窈窕一點、孩子在學校表現好、有更支持和愛錫自己的父母、工作模式較有彈性、多些錢、多些時間。這些都是很多人想要的,但得到了,是否真的快樂?

Sonja Lyubomirsky在The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want中寫道,以上都是一些朋友常給她的答案:

If your answers look anything like these, all of which friends have confided(秘密地吐露) to me over the years, you’re in for a surprise.

None of these things will make you substantially(可觀地、大程度上) happier. But this doesn’t mean that the goal of finding lasting(持久的) happiness is unrealistic(不切實際的) or nave. The catch is that we tend to look for happiness in the wrong places.

Catch用作動詞解捉到、捕捉,例如︰The policeman catches the thief immediately.(那位警察立即就把小偷逮捕。)Catch用作名詞解a hidden problem or disadvantage in an apparently ideal situation,暗藏的不利因素。有人告訴你健身中心有免費會籍,你覺得沒可能有這樣的優惠,就可以問:What’s the catch?(這當中的問題是什麼?)

要找出lasting happiness,首先就要知道,像膽固醇有好、壞之分,原來快樂也有優、劣之分。專家把快樂分為兩種:hedonic和eudaimonic。 Hedonic解relating to pleasant or unpleasant sensations,與感官有關的快樂︰

Hedonic well-being comes from an experience a person seeks out that gives them pleasure.

有專家形容hedonic happiness為”having lots of positive experiences that come from, say, eating great food or smelling beautiful flowers”,像美食和花香帶來的喜悅。

無私最樂

Eudaimonic又作eudaemonic,解conducive to happiness,帶來快樂的︰

Eudaimonic well-being is a kind of happiness that comes not from consuming(享用) something but from a sustained effort(持續的努力) at working toward something bigger than you.

In other words, it’s working toward a sense of meaning in your life or contributing to some kind of cause. Think of the happiness you see on the Dalai Lama(達賴喇嘛) or Mother Teresa(德蘭修女)’s face.

最近,在Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences中發表的研究報告指出,hedonic happiness竟會造成和壓力或情緒低落相類似的生理反應︰

In fact, the happiness you get from instant gratification(即時的滿足)- eating that giant cupcake or buying that fabulous(極好的) pair of shoes – may have the same physical impact on your genes as depression or stress.

Eudaimonic well-being就不同。參與研究的其中一位學者Steve Cole說:”But if you find well-being in the connections you have to others and in pursuing something that involves collaborating(合作) with other people, if in that circumstance you get sick or injured or suffer a personal loss, that community you’ve worked so hard to connect to, they will help you get through.”