“Say No”是“说不”。小孩子大多没有say no的问题，父母叫他们做功课，他们会say no；叫他们上床睡觉，他们也毫不犹豫地say no；吃水果、吃蔬菜，都会听到他们说︰”No, No , No.”
但人长大了，就好像丧失了“义无反顾”地say no的能力，事无大小，明明心中不想、不喜欢、不能够、没能力、没时间、口中不知怎的，都会听到自己say yes。
心理治疗师Jennifer Rollin说，不懂得say no是个很常见的问题：
For many people, it’s difficult to set boundaries(界限、界线) or say no to others. This can be especially challenging for those who self-identify as people-pleasers(喜欢取悦他人的人) or workaholics(工作狂).
不想say no常见的原因有几个：
Most of us want to be liked and to please other people. It can be difficult to turn down opportunities or requests that others have made of us. It may also be challenging to set limits with difficult people.
想人家开心，不想错失人家给我们的机会，有些人又特别难缠。
但对别人的所有要求都一律say yes，自然有问题：”When we say yes to everything and do not set boundaries with people, we can feel stressed(感到受压), overwhelmed(难以抵受), and burned out (筋疲力尽).”就如领导训练顾问Greg McKeown说：”If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”(你不为自己生命中的事情定先后次序，就有人会替你定。)
投资专家Warren Buffett也说：”The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.”非常成功的人差不多对每件事都会say no。不要错误理解，这句话不是说凡事都说无可能，所有机会都要抗拒，而是不要做个pushover(耳根软的人)，任何人的要求都想去满足。
忠于自己感觉
Say yes太多，自己应该知道，太顺人意也有迹可寻。 Damon Zahariades说可以问自己：”Do you regularly feel unhappy, stressed, and exhausted(筋疲力竭的) as a result of constantly putting other people’s priorities(优次) ahead of your own?”
他在The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!) 中，说学会say no的好处：
Saying no to people is one of the most important skills you can develop. It frees you to pursue(追寻) your own interests, both personal and professional. To that end, it’ll boost(增进) your productivity(生产力), improve your relationships, and fill you with a sense of confident calm that may seem alien to you at this moment.
但怎样才可以say no又不感到guilty(内疚)？首先要问对方向你提出的要求是否合理，你推却对方向你展示一脸失望或不愉悦是否是你的错？
You’ll come to appreciate that their disappointment is neither your fault(错失) nor responsibility. This perspective(看法) will give you the courage to stop accommodating(予人方便的、乐于助人的) every request and invitation that comes your way .
University of Houston的学者Vanessa M. Patrick说：”The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. It gives you a sense of empowerment(有信心和能力的感觉).”
