英语趣谈:Self-delusion阻碍大计实行

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文︰子慧

知己知彼,百战百胜。知道自己和对手的优缺点,自然会增加取胜的机会。但现实生活中,“知彼”可能会比“知己”容易。旁观者清,要了解对方可凭客观的细心观察,但了解自己就要过自欺这一关。

Delusion解错觉、妄想。To be under delusion是有错觉。Delude是动词,解欺骗。Delude others是骗人,self-delusion就是自欺。Psychology: Essential Thinkers, Classic Theories, and How They Inform Your World的作者、临牀心理学家Andrea Bonior说,自欺是人之常情,人人都会不时对自己说谎,而这未必是坏事。

Plenty of these lies are harmless or even beneficial, as we try to lessen the friction that daily life can generate(产生). But what about the lies we cling to more stubbornly(顽固地), the ones that become ingrained(根深柢固的、难以清除的) and that influence our behavior in ways that might not be for the best? 

Harmless是无害的,beneficial解有益的。日常生活不会事事如意,有些自欺的谎话可以帮助我们减轻因摩擦而产生的不快,但有些自欺的话却有害处。自欺的想法是改变和改善的绊脚石。

拖得就拖

其中一种自欺法是:

Tomorrow, I’ll start fresh. Today I might as well not try. 

明天我会从头开始,重新上路。所以今天什么也不要做,连向前试走一小步都不需要。这是典型的“明日复明日”的心态。

And of course it digs an even deeper hole for you to get out of tomorrow. This mindset(心态、想法) is classic all-or-none-thinking, where you convince yourself you need a perfectly clean slate of a fresh day (or a fresh year!) in order to make some positive changes.

Slate是用来写字的石板,to wipe the slate clean解既往不咎,或把以往的过错(或不和、债务等)一笔勾销。”A perfectly clean slate of a fresh day”是新一天从头再来。要改就一次过改,若要逐小的、一步步的改进就不如不改。这种就是”classic all-or-none-thinking”,典型的“非全有即全无”心态。不过,这只我们哄骗自己、裹足不前的谎话。

But, think about it: why? Why isn’t progress(进步) at 8:56 pm the same as progress first thing in the morning? If you’re looking to keep your house organized, save your money, exercise, eat healthier foods or be kinder to your loved ones, you only make it harder to reach that goal by refusing to take advantage of the opportunity in front of you – right here, right now, no matter how far “gone” the day seems. 

若要做得好一点,改变一些不良的习惯,这一刻开始与明天早上或一月一日开始又有何分别呢?拖的结果就是做不成。

意志力不足

第二种常见的自欺方法就是对自己说:”I just need more willpower.”(我需要更大的意志力。)

Yes, self-discipline(自律) is an asset, and plenty of successful people seem to benefit from having truckloads of it. But lots of other people have increased their productivity(生产力) and happiness simply by changing their environments, making it easier for them to adopt the habits they want. 

与其等自己慢慢培养意志力,不如借助环境,例如觉得自己花钱太多,可以把不必要的信用卡剪掉;不想半夜睡觉时仍不断check smartphone,就索性别把电话带上牀。

大家都以为很了解自己,但细心想想很多时影响行为的心理因素不易察觉。多了解心理学可以帮助我们了解和控制自己的行为。

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