文︰子慧
Excessive是形容词，解more than is necessary, normal, or desirable，过度的、过量的。大家都知道，就算是好的东西，若是excessive，好也会变坏。Excessive运动，excessive营养，就是对人的关怀，excessive也不是好事。父母excessive呵护子女，就会变成helicopter parents（直升机家长），容易堕入过分保护、过度介入和干预孩子的陷阱。
Excessive也解immoderate。Immoderate解not sensible or restrained，无节制的、过分的。例如︰Immoderate drinking would lead to liver problem.（饮酒过度会伤害肝脏。）
“适可而止”大学问
若excessive和immoderate不好，那我们就应该学会”moderation – the avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one’s behavior or political opinions”，避免过度或极端，那就是节制。但实践起来，moderation似乎不是那么容易。
通宵达旦饮酒作乐，早上头痛没精神上班，就是做不到moderation的结果。美食当前，吃得过饱；大减价不想错过，花钱太多；通宵“煲剧”等等，天天都会发生。看来大家moderation这一关，经常都无法守得住。
是现代社会文化作祟？Carlin Flora在”Down with Extremes! Health, well-being, and success rest on one principle: In all things moderation”一文中这样说：”… our culture valorizes extremes. ‘You can never be too rich or too thin’ is a persistent(反复出现的) message.”
Valorize解give or ascribe value or validity to，赋予价值，视为正确、正当。当然，世上真有“太有钱”这回事吗？所以大家都尽力去赚钱，很多时牺牲健康、家庭都在所不计。
Moderation的目标是适中、达到这个目标所需要的是“适可而止”。做得到、做不到，这当中的心理大有学问。心理学家Glenn Geher说：”We have a ‘more is better’ algorithm(规则系统) built in. We evolved to like fatty food, but too much isn’t good. Many substances or stimuli(刺激) are beneficial in certain amounts, but then reach a tipping point after which they become harmful.”
More is better，多就是好，愈多愈好。这是人通有的心态：”We don’t naturally moderate ourselves, because in ancestral conditions we didn’t have to.”(我们天生不懂节制，是因为我们的祖先生存的环境不用节制。)
短视牺牲长远心态
我们也有看短线而牺牲长远的心态：”… a short-term focus primes us to eschew(戒绝、避开) moderation. We all discount long-term interests to some degree, and impulsive(易冲动的) people have an even stronger tendency(倾向) to do so.”
适可而止，moderation，其实最终是关乎self-control and willpower(自控和意志力)。Thomas Abreu的Willpower: Power of Self Control – How to Master Your Emotions，教你提升自控和意志力。
