“Regrets, I’ve had a few. But then again, too few to mention.”(我确有几件后悔事。但少得不值一提。)歌曲My Way歌词，点出我行我素的主题。 Regret是后悔、懊恼。这感觉大家都有过，但要为它下个定义，除了说它是很不好受，你又会怎样表达呢？
Oxford Dictionary这样解释：Feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do)。悲伤、悔过、失望，都是regret的元素。 John Amodeo在”Are you burdened by regrets?”一文写道：regret是”carrying sorrow or shame regarding past actions or decisions”。
令人困扰
认为对的事就要做，不要因介意其他人的想法而裹足不前，成功很多时就是靠这种择善固执的精神，虽说义无反顾，但现实生活中，感到regret的事情，大大小小的，都不会too few to mention。 John Amodeo说：
If we have lived fully, we’re bound to have regrets. You may have heard people proudly declare, “I have no regrets.” But such a declaration doesn’t pass the sniff test. Having regrets is an unavoidable(无可避免的) part of the human condition.
Sniff test是隔膜和肺部功能的检测方法，亦引申解an informal reality check of an idea or proposal, using one’s common sense or sense of propriety(得体的举止、行为规范)，就算我们一生做每件事都深思熟虑，但with hindsight(事后一想)，都总会有些会后悔。
The sobering(令人清醒的、让人顿悟的) truth is that we all screw up sometimes. If we claim to be regret-free, then we haven’t been paying attention or are living in denial(拒绝接受、拒不承认).
我们的每个决定，都受到当时的条件影响和限制，能力、见识、对情况的了解、可掌握的资讯，这些因素都未必尽在我们控制之内，还有性格和情绪等等。 Regret是其中一种最令人困扰的情绪，但终日活在”What if?”的顽念中，一点好处也没有。
Obsessing(不能自已地老想着) over unwise past actions that keep grabbing our attention can lead to depression and rob us of the joy of living. Replaying scenes in our mind and wishing we’d acted differently keeps us spinning our wheels, perpetuating (无限地延长) our misery and keeping us isolated. Caught in the grip of how things could have been different, we’re hijacked from the present moment as we slap ourselves with the cold hand of self-incriminations(自责).
自我接受
若regret难免，regret的感觉也难受，那应怎样面对呢？
Cultivating a climate of gentle self-acceptance(自我接受), we can turn our attention toward what we can learn from our miscues(击球未中). Redemption(救赎) lies not in banishing regrets, but using them as a portal to increase our understanding of ourselves, others, and life itself. We can use our regrets as an impetus(动力) to find healthier ways to affirm ourselves, communicate our needs, and set boundaries in our lives.
人谁无过，所以谁会无悔？ Regrets是人生的一部分，但它是痛苦困恼的监牢，或是助你成长的动力，就要看自己如何处理。 Hamilton Beazley的No Regrets: A Ten-Step Program for Living in the Present and Leaving the Past Behind，为走出regrets的阴霾提供意见。
