“Regrets, I’ve had a few. But then again, too few to mention.”(我確有幾件後悔事。但少得不值一提。)歌曲My Way歌詞，點出我行我素的主題。 Regret是後悔、懊惱。這感覺大家都有過，但要為它下個定義，除了說它是很不好受，你又會怎樣表達呢？
Oxford Dictionary這樣解釋：Feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do)。悲傷、悔過、失望，都是regret的元素。 John Amodeo在”Are you burdened by regrets?”一文寫道：regret是”carrying sorrow or shame regarding past actions or decisions”。
令人困擾
認為對的事就要做，不要因介意其他人的想法而裹足不前，成功很多時就是靠這種擇善固執的精神，雖說義無反顧，但現實生活中，感到regret的事情，大大小小的，都不會too few to mention。 John Amodeo說：
If we have lived fully, we’re bound to have regrets. You may have heard people proudly declare, “I have no regrets.” But such a declaration doesn’t pass the sniff test. Having regrets is an unavoidable(無可避免的) part of the human condition.
Sniff test是隔膜和肺部功能的檢測方法，亦引申解an informal reality check of an idea or proposal, using one’s common sense or sense of propriety(得體的舉止、行為規範)，就算我們一生做每件事都深思熟慮，但with hindsight(事後一想)，都總會有些會後悔。
The sobering(令人清醒的、讓人頓悟的) truth is that we all screw up sometimes. If we claim to be regret-free, then we haven’t been paying attention or are living in denial(拒絕接受、拒不承認).
我們的每個決定，都受到當時的條件影響和限制，能力、見識、對情況的了解、可掌握的資訊，這些因素都未必盡在我們控制之內，還有性格和情緒等等。 Regret是其中一種最令人困擾的情緒，但終日活在”What if?”的頑念中，一點好處也沒有。
Obsessing(不能自已地老想着) over unwise past actions that keep grabbing our attention can lead to depression and rob us of the joy of living. Replaying scenes in our mind and wishing we’d acted differently keeps us spinning our wheels, perpetuating (無限地延長) our misery and keeping us isolated. Caught in the grip of how things could have been different, we’re hijacked from the present moment as we slap ourselves with the cold hand of self-incriminations(自責).
自我接受
若regret難免，regret的感覺也難受，那應怎樣面對呢？
Cultivating a climate of gentle self-acceptance(自我接受), we can turn our attention toward what we can learn from our miscues(擊球未中). Redemption(救贖) lies not in banishing regrets, but using them as a portal to increase our understanding of ourselves, others, and life itself. We can use our regrets as an impetus(動力) to find healthier ways to affirm ourselves, communicate our needs, and set boundaries in our lives.
人誰無過，所以誰會無悔？ Regrets是人生的一部分，但它是痛苦困惱的監牢，或是助你成長的動力，就要看自己如何處理。 Hamilton Beazley的No Regrets: A Ten-Step Program for Living in the Present and Leaving the Past Behind，為走出regrets的陰霾提供意見。
