文︰子慧
Excessive是形容詞，解more than is necessary, normal, or desirable，過度的、過量的。大家都知道，就算是好的東西，若是excessive，好也會變壞。Excessive運動，excessive營養，就是對人的關懷，excessive也不是好事。父母excessive呵護子女，就會變成helicopter parents（直升機家長），容易墮入過分保護、過度介入和干預孩子的陷阱。
Excessive也解immoderate。Immoderate解not sensible or restrained，無節制的、過分的。例如︰Immoderate drinking would lead to liver problem.（飲酒過度會傷害肝臟。）
「適可而止」大學問
若excessive和immoderate不好，那我們就應該學會”moderation – the avoidance of excess or extremes, especially in one’s behavior or political opinions”，避免過度或極端，那就是節制。但實踐起來，moderation似乎不是那麼容易。
通宵達旦飲酒作樂，早上頭痛沒精神上班，就是做不到moderation的結果。美食當前，吃得過飽；大減價不想錯過，花錢太多；通宵「煲劇」等等，天天都會發生。看來大家moderation這一關，經常都無法守得住。
是現代社會文化作祟？Carlin Flora在”Down with Extremes! Health, well-being, and success rest on one principle: In all things moderation”一文中這樣說：”… our culture valorizes extremes. ‘You can never be too rich or too thin’ is a persistent(反覆出現的) message.”
Valorize解give or ascribe value or validity to，賦予價值，視為正確、正當。當然，世上真有「太有錢」這回事嗎？所以大家都儘力去賺錢，很多時犧牲健康、家庭都在所不計。
Moderation的目標是適中、達到這個目標所需要的是「適可而止」。做得到、做不到，這當中的心理大有學問。心理學家Glenn Geher說：”We have a ‘more is better’ algorithm(規則系統) built in. We evolved to like fatty food, but too much isn’t good. Many substances or stimuli(刺激) are beneficial in certain amounts, but then reach a tipping point after which they become harmful.”
More is better，多就是好，愈多愈好。這是人通有的心態：”We don’t naturally moderate ourselves, because in ancestral conditions we didn’t have to.”(我們天生不懂節制，是因為我們的祖先生存的環境不用節制。)
短視犧牲長遠心態
我們也有看短線而犧牲長遠的心態：”… a short-term focus primes us to eschew(戒絕、避開) moderation. We all discount long-term interests to some degree, and impulsive(易衝動的) people have an even stronger tendency(傾向) to do so.”
適可而止，moderation，其實最終是關乎self-control and willpower(自控和意志力)。Thomas Abreu的Willpower: Power of Self Control – How to Master Your Emotions，教你提升自控和意志力。
