英語趣談:Revenge和forgiveness面面觀

加拿大都市网

SOURCE都市报

文︰子慧

Revenge解the action of inflicting hurt or harm on someone for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands,傷害曾傷害你的人,就是revenge。簡單說,就是「報仇」。除了聖人,相信大家都不時有revenge的念頭。被人傷害、侮辱、欺騙、背叛、出賣,很多時第一個反應就是想辦法報復。

Revenge的心態是人之常情,University of Miami的evolutionary psychologist(進化心理學家)Michael McCullough過去十多年專門研究revenge和forgiveness(寬恕)。他的觀察如下:

Revenge is a powerful emotional trigger that mobilises(策動、推動) people into action. It’s this very pervasive(瀰漫的、普遍的) experience in human lives, people from every society understand the idea of​​ getting angry and wanting to hurt someone who has harmed you.

談愛、堅毅、包容的名句很多,有關revenge的也不少。常聽見的有︰「有仇不報非君子」,也有︰To exact revenge for yourself or your friends is not only a right, it’s an absolute duty(為自己或朋友報仇不只是權利,也絕對是義務)。教復仇之道的則有︰Revenge is a dish best served (or eaten) cold,仇毋須即時報,慢慢找仇人算帳就更心涼,所以也有「君子報仇十年未晚」的說法。

普通人說revenge,大多是說說或想想便算。對於別人的過犯,凡事都大費周章真的去實行報仇大計,就什麼其他事也不用做了。轉個頭下了火氣,報仇的意欲就會下降。不過現實世界中的政治舞台,世界政局,復仇劇卻天天在上演。

最近敘利亞政府用化學武器殺害平民,英、美、法就報仇,用飛彈攻打敘利亞化武設施,美國總統Donald Trump說”exact a ‘big price’ on the Assad regime”就是復仇。對方自然也不會示弱,背後撐腰的俄羅斯就警告西方他們的襲擊會有consequence(後果),意思也是復仇。

復仇成癮

科學家想知道為什麼大家會這樣樂此不疲地去冤冤相報。研究發現︰”Not only can revenge give people pleasure, but people seek it precisely because of the anticipation it will do so.”(報仇確會令人舒服,想去報仇就正正因為大家都覺得報仇後會好過點。)難怪很多電影、小說,都以復仇作主線。主角被人害得愈慘,到他們報仇雪恨,仇人下場愈慘,觀眾心中就愈痛快。

但科學家就警告,報仇只會帶來一時之快,後果往往得不償失︰
Preliminary – as yet unpublished results – show that revenge-seekers only get a momentary feeling of pleasure.

Virginia Commonwealth University學者David Chester解釋:
Just like a lot of things, it feels good in the moment. That begins a cycle(循環) and it starts to look like an addiction(癮), then afterwards you feel worse than when you started. And that might help explain why those who seek the high of revenge fail to anticipate disastrous(災難性的) personal consequences.

很多人為報仇無所不用其極,Get Even: The Complete Book Of Dirty Tricks收集了市民對大企業、政府和敵人的報仇方法,但這只是搞笑之作,不是叫人去學。不想墮入復仇成癮的cycle?還是看Dennis Maynard的Forgive & Get Your Life Back較理智。

share to wechat

延伸阅读

延伸阅读

12星座一周运势(4月27日-5月3日)

Coach Outlet母亲节优惠 低至3折+额外8折!

苏菲公开谈总理杜鲁多:我们之间仍然充满爱

当你有高胆固醇时可以吃奶酪吗?